Monday, January 25, 2016

Is There a Doctor in the Marriage? - The New York Times

Women who are not married to a doctor often equate being a physician with other professionals. Marriage is one of those things.



Having a spouse as a physician requires a mate who can be largely independent with short periods of intimacy and companionship.  While there are some specialties that insulate  physician marriages from clinical demands, such as pathology, dermatology  and a few others, most doctors become focused on patient care either by an innate sense of duty, moral standards, or the induced habit by repetition of answering all calls during training.

Fortunately for many, actual independent clinical practice is not usually as demanding, although the stress level rises substantially when the final decision rests upon them.  It is also the time when physicians begin to pay their own medical malpractice premiums...a certain indicator of medical liability.

Is There a Doctor in the Marriage?

Six weeks after our wedding, my husband and I were flying back to New
Orleans, where we live. As soon as we reached cruising altitude, his
head tilted forward in sleep.

The previous year had been the hardest stretch of his medical training. As a
third-year resident in internal medicine, he often worked 30-hour
shifts. When he came home, he’d still have notes to dictate. I’d
frequently find him snoozing in an armchair with the light still on. A
few hours later, he’d wake and go back to work.“I’m trying to survive,” he told me when I complained about how work consumed him. “I’m doing the best I can.”When we first met, I fell in love with his playfulness as much as his passion. He belonged to an improv comedy group and kept me up talking in
funny voices and telling me what he loved about medicine.

Our personal life is private, but his professional life is public

Modern Love
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Is There a Doctor in the Marriage? - The New York Times
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